The Coffeehouse

A not-so-comprehensive-or-profound list of things that stink according to queenie:

1) Seeing your old crush/"almost" around

2) Having your old crush/"almost" hang out with the your new crush/"hope-to-be"

3) Being very limited in communicating with new crush/"hope-to-be"

4) Not succeeding in ending useless relationship

5) When your ideal zodiac matches don't work out (see #4)

6) People not taking initiative/making the next move (see #4 & #3)

I'm pretty sure there's more to come...

Why do we make excuses for good-looking people?

People we deem unattractive wouldn't get away with half the stuff attractive people would...

And I'm using "attractive" and "unattractive" in the loosest form possible, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But the truth remains. A "dirty" joke from an unattractive male/female would get them labeled as "perverted" or "desperate", a look of disgust, and an uncomfortable silence, while attractive people would simply be called "imaginative" or maybe "jerk-y", a slight groan at the bad humour, or a roll of the eyes.

And it can be expanded on. There's a tendency to overlook the personality flaws of those who have the looks to "make up for it", and a tendency to value physical chemistry over intellectual chemistry. Despite its importance, how much can one rely on the physical aspect to be the glue of any relationship, romantic or otherwise? In the end it's our personality and intellect that make us who we are. People complement each other not in the light hair/dark hair type of balance, but in the patient/bad temper type of way. And in the presence of two bad tempers, one cannot be substituted by blonde hair or green eyes to make the relationship easier. Just like a liar is a liar no matter how sexy they are. But it seems that sexy liars get along better in society than frumpy liars. The same concept of "acceptable" and "unacceptable" behaviour is often applied in race, gender, and class. White liar vs. Black liar, rich racist vs. poor racist, and so on. We overlook one more than the other.

Moral of the post: Pretty people can be pretty ugly too...

...but I'd like to meet someone who...

- is a socialist

- is Muslim and religious

- wants to travel/work abroad

- likes sushi

- cares about the environment

- is interested in politics and social justice issues

- is sensitive/funny/all the generic stuff

- likes coffee

- is in my generation

- is single, duh.

See? NOT picky... it is so un-picky, that there's no English word for it....oh wait, delusional.

Maybe the world has gone nuts, maybe I've become crazy, we don't know. There are too many variables to control and isolate to be able to find out just what the situation is. It could be a co-evolutionary type of crazy development, but nonetheless, I call for an end to the madness!

Courtship and Mating. Not-so-scientifically speaking...

These are "good" things, generally speaking, unless you're an idiot/idiotte like George Dubya (too late) or Paris Hilton and should not be allowed procreate. Mating makes the world go round. But's let's just stop obsessing about it, for the sake of my sanity. It seems like everywhere I look, there is some kind of technology or advice to help you with your search for the perfect mate, the perfect love, and the perfect romance. Maybe it's just because I'm at that age where people are looking for mates that I'm noticing this more? Or has our society's priorities really shifted towards this trend?

And there is pressure. Lots and lots of pressure, and somehow I feel that my mom is being peer pressured into pressuring me. We have some family friends who have gotten married/engaged over the past year, and my mom has friends who have sons "mate-searching" and I think she feels left out of the whole shabang. I kind of understand, who wants to be left behind when your friends are moving on to their next stage of life? And I feel guilty, but what's the rush? I don't think I want to settle down/get married for while...

That being said, allow me to take this opportunity to inform you how much it sucks being single at engagement parties or weddings. Everyone just gawks at the bachelors and bachelorettes and attempt to matchmake guys and gals with their eyes. Also, to those who claim to be single and happy, LIES! Being single is the lesser of the two evils, people may not be ready to commit to any serious or long-term relationships, but that doesn't mean singles lose the need for companionship. Being single is only great! fun! and happy-joy! when you are promiscuous or are involved in some pseudo-courtship. There's too much pressure out there to not be single to enjoy singledom. LIES I tell ya...

There are a lot of Arabic phrases that are difficult to translate into, or even equate with, English phrases. This includes the infamous " 'obalik" said on joyous occasions such as engagements and weddings (graduations too) to those who have yet to acheive what the celebrated person(s) have acheived, kind of like "can't wait to celebrate your acheivements". When said from one friend to another, it often takes on a teasing form as in "Haha, you're next, you can run but you can't hide" or the more desparate "I need YOU to find someone, so that he/she could hook ME up with a cute friend". When said to you from parents, it means "Hurry up, why are you still single, stop being an embarrasement." When said to you by other elders it means "My son/daughter is single too" (wink, wink). In response, you tell your friend to shut up, you humour your parents and apologize, and you smile and pretend you don't know what the elders mean, holding up ten fingers indicating " 'obalik" is not likely to occur for the next ten years thank-you-very-much.

Down with social pressures!

The following is something my friend, Vivian Tabar (intellectual property rights :p) wrote...

Beauty vs. Brains? - Vivian Tabar

So the other night, my roommates and I had a few friends over for drinks. At one point in the night, we all began discussing what characteristics we look for in our significant others. One of my (male) friends responded by saying that his woman must be ‘beautiful’. I instinctively jumped in. I felt the need to explain to him that beauty is a subjective construct- beauty is beyond reason and cannot be defined. At any particular moment in time, we might find any one person attractive as a result of a specific element of their character that in turn impacts our perception of them.

When I read "He then continued by saying that he also wants an intelligent girl, but he then stated that beautiful women are not intelligent", I wondered, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder and varies based on perception, maybe this guy doesn't really perceive intelligence as an attractive quality and that's why "there are no beautiful intelligent women". Maybe that's just his subconscious thoughts coming out...

I've been wondering about this for a while. What are the etiquettes or rules surrounding relationships with friends-of-siblings or siblings-of-friends? Are they a taboo like office relationships, or are they acceptable? If yes, how does one go about developing a relationship without sabotaging the initial relationship with your sibling/friend? If it's not acceptable, then why?

Does anyone have insight on this? 

... with my new shoes

Picture's not that great, but you can still sense the beauty they exude.....

Birthday hugs and kisses to Maryam and Anisa, coincidentally, both celebrating GOLDEN birthdays! Can't wait till mine :)

i first fell in love with Subcomandante Marcos last year when i watched a movie on the Zapatista in Chiapas, Mexico. i was reading an article on social movements, and i came across a quote of his:

"Marcos is gay in San Francisco, black in South Africa, an Asian in Europe, a Chicano in San Ysidro, an anarchist in Spain, a Palestinian in Israel, a Mayan Indian in the streets of San Cristobal, a Jew in Germany, a Gypsy in Poland, a Mohawk in Quebec, a pacifist in Bosnia, a single woman on the Metro at 10 p.m., a peasant without land, a gang member in the slums, an unemployed worker, an unhappy student, and, of course, a Zapatista in the mountains."

he's referring to how he hides his face with a black mask that is a mirror that reflects the leaders we are. dreamy, isn't he?

i personally like to call it a fanta. it's much more discreet that way ;P

usually, i find This Fish's posts really depressing, but she's been in a better mood lately and more enjoyable to read.... ESPECIALLY her last post about, ahm ahm, crushes!!

so back in highschool, my friends and i would have a nickname for all those we had a crush on...except joe..he was always "joe" and if we like anyone who looked like him, they'd be "joe 2", "joe 3" and so on....i think there were about 4 joes in total....lemme see how many others i can remember....

- LSW: little spanish warrior..ummm..yeah, he represented Spain at a conference or something..

- Puma: he used to wear a puma hat....a guy got dared by his girlfriend who was jealous of me to tell Puma that i liked him infront of his whole class....it was painful

- Stan: rapped Eminem's "Stan" at a Talent Show.....got rejected by that one majorly....ouch

- Gambia: (for starla)...he had long sideburns and was British or something i think...

i haven't seen most of these fellas in about 4-5 years.... although i did see Joe once last year and once the year before that, and I also saw Yaz once last year (i knew it was him before i even saw him!).....brought back a lot of memories...surprised i even recognized them!.. yeah, no one recognized me and they all thought i was stalker-ish....

EDIT: in my last year of highschool, there were some others....

- oK: who everybody hated and was stoned all the time...

- Tea-Chai: oK's friend...never seen him stoned

- Toucan: he had a big nose, but a lot of people thought he was good-looking...not my crush though

i'm thinking of changing the layout, but blog.com doesn't let you design it freely..they give you templates...which of the three below do you like? personally, i like NONE..but those were the best of the worst..they're THAT bad...