Saturday, June 02, 2007

what to do...

I'm allergic to clingy people. I get a headache, my throat constricts, and I feel suffocated. You don't understand how suffocated I feel! I'm THAT allergic.

So I have a problem. There's someone very clingy in my life right now. It wasn't always the case with them, we're friends and stuff. Just lately (well, for the past two months), I can't stand them. They call too much, they message too much, they ask too many questions. I can't even stand to hear their name, or their voice (I cringe at their voice messages).

I'm also a very non-confrontational person, so what do I do? How do I gently let them know that I need some time and space away from them. That I don't appreciate them calling me this often, and there's a reason I don't pick up. Or message back. I think they think we're really great bestest friends, but I don't feel the same way. And I really really reallly need my space....

Posted by queenie at 20:01:42 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

Friday, April 13, 2007

I got new glasses to go with my new "Thinking Blogger" title...

They're red and I love them. But that's besides the point.

FG is an amazing writer. I'm always waiting for the day when some publisher discovers her blog and offers her a book deal. I remember stumbling across her blog (back when it was at blog.com) by clicking on the "Random Blog" link at the bottom of my sidebar. The blog was all a hush-hush secret back then, and look how it has blossomed and bloomed!

And well, she's given me the Thinking Blogger Award, which I humbly accept :)

The rules say I must choose 5 bloggers who make me think (I only got 2, is that okay?):

Omar 2 Cents: Your blog was one of the very first blogs I stumbled upon, and one of the few I continued reading. Maybe it was because we come from similar backgrounds. I'm pretty sure though it was also because you always brought up controversial issues that raise a lot of questions regarding religion, culture and politics. Critical thinking required!

Zahra aka Digital Nomad & Jawharah aka Digital Jewel: I usually read my daily blogs at night, after I'm done with school, work, chores. Usually, I'm pretty tired by this time, ready to give up on a bunch of things, and ready to hide under the covers from others. I love the daily reminders that tie in religion, they always ground me, and make me reassess my priorities, and sometimes my behaviour! Makes for a better next-day and I no longer want to hide under the covers. 

I would also tag Abed, but he's already received this award ;)

And now, to those I tag:

Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think, Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme. Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
Posted by queenie at 02:46:18 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

Sunday, December 03, 2006

"Beauty vs. Brains?"

The following is something my friend, Vivian Tabar (intellectual property rights :p) wrote...

Beauty vs. Brains? - Vivian Tabar

So the other night, my roommates and I had a few friends over for drinks. At one point in the night, we all began discussing what characteristics we look for in our significant others. One of my (male) friends responded by saying that his woman must be ‘beautiful’. I instinctively jumped in. I felt the need to explain to him that beauty is a subjective construct- beauty is beyond reason and cannot be defined. At any particular moment in time, we might find any one person attractive as a result of a specific element of their character that in turn impacts our perception of them.

Although I did not tell him this, I wanted to let him know that however attracted or unattracted he was to me at that moment, I had the power to change that. And by the time he walked out the door of my house, he was going to be five times more attracted to me than he was when he came in. Because as a woman, I have the power to do such things. Such a thing can be accomplished so simply through mindless acts like the batting of my eyelashes, or a sultry eyebrow raise, or even the uttering of an intelligent phrase, if you play that way. so men, beware…we know how to play your game;)

He then continued by saying that he also wants an intelligent girl, but he then stated that beautiful women are not intelligent. At that point, my roommates and I stopped to stare at one another. I could read their minds; we all thought the same thing. If this guy is saying that beautiful women are not intelligent and intelligent women are not beautiful, and we all consider ourselves beautiful intelligent women, which one was he trying to tell us we are not?

I immediately began to ponder the meaning off that statement. Claude Levi Strauss argued that human beings think in binary oppositions, that our mind grasps images by automatically defining it and juxtaposing it with its opposite, like, night and day, good and bad, ugly and beautiful. If at that moment, we constructed the binary to be beauty vs. brains, I had to wonder: what side am I on, and, what side do I want to be on?

If beauty is a category that is perceived as incompatible with intelligentsia, how do those who choose to separate themselves from conventional and hegemonic definitions of beauty, locate themselves in a society that forces you to choose? With the idea of femininity being something that is constantly negotiated, packaged and redistributed by a capitalist system centered on the exploitation of the female body, and the images of feminine beauty being associated with those definitions, like a certain body type, mode of dress, make up wearing, ‘Time’ kinda girl, where do the women who choose to contest and oppose this ‘fit’? I am talking about he type of women who have an oppositional, counter definition to beauty, as that being one defined on their on terms. I am talking about the women who choose to read electronic intifada instead of US weekly. Where do we fit, and why do we not have our own category?

Earlier today my cousin told me that we Arab women got screwed. There are three types of Arab men, she claims. The one category, very conservative, plans to marry a good virgin girl type. The second, the white washed type, being one who is nationalistic but dates non-arabs. And lastly, the bourgeois ‘Time’ type.

We Arab women did get screwed. But not because of the “so-called” categories of Arab men, but because we ourselves have yet to become a category.

 

When I read "He then continued by saying that he also wants an intelligent girl, but he then stated that beautiful women are not intelligent", I wondered, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder and varies based on perception, maybe this guy doesn't really perceive intelligence as an attractive quality and that's why "there are no beautiful intelligent women". Maybe that's just his subconscious thoughts coming out...

Posted by queenie at 22:48:45 | Permanent Link | Comments (8) |

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

on matters of likes and loves...

I've been wondering about this for a while. What are the etiquettes or rules surrounding relationships with friends-of-siblings or siblings-of-friends? Are they a taboo like office relationships, or are they acceptable? If yes, how does one go about developing a relationship without sabotaging the initial relationship with your sibling/friend? If it's not acceptable, then why?

Does anyone have insight on this? 

Posted by queenie at 02:15:52 | Permanent Link | Comments (5) |

Saturday, October 07, 2006

pretty useless post, but I had to vent...

What gives someone the right to enter and exit another person's life as they wish, whenever they wish to do so?

I'm not angry, and that wasn't meant to be a rhetorical question. I am honestly confused and curious as to what type of thought-processes are involved in such actions.

I have a best friend from highschool who I used to keep in touch with after I moved away, we were extremely close. Then she got herself caught up in some guilt-cycle where she would procrastinate to write back, feel guilty about that, prolong it longer, feel even guiltier that she didn't have the courage to face me, procrastinate..etc. Me, knowing that she means no malice, and always hearing her news through another friend, continued to write her on special occasions and stuff. It's been about a two years since I last heard from her and now, out of the blue she sends me a note, and not even a direct one, but one through those stupid social network testimonial thingies (!!). I'm tempted to write back, but I know it'll be another two years before I hear anything again.

I've pretty much closed this chapter of my life, and I usually never reopen it once its been closed, and never look back. There's no use dwelling on the past. What to do?

Posted by queenie at 01:44:53 | Permanent Link | Comments (7) |