The Coffeehouse

Laughing gas and codeine tablets are my buddies. We're tight, we're like my crossed fingers that I'm holding up here, tight. They make me happy and pain-free and satisfy me in a way that caffeine never could....

I don't expect The Coffeehouse to be a source of unbounding knowledge, but if there is one thing to learn from this blog, it is that one must learn to overcome their fear of drugs, especially when recovering from wisdom teeth extraction.

I had my four wisdom teeth taken out this morning and I think I'm starting to look like a chipmunk, I feel like I have marbles in my mouth. The actual process, I have no recollection of, but I do remember how good it felt to be inhaling the laughing gas, and how much it burned when they put the general anaesthetic into my IV bag. Although I was smiling like an idiot from the gas, my mind was still clear and it took every ounce of my energy to suppress my laughs so that I didn't sound hysterical (which the thought of, made me want to laugh even more!). It was quite an experience, and I learned that it's much more fun having your eyes closed while going under. One second, they were putting these gadgets in my mouth to keep it open, the next second they're telling me to wake up 'cause I'm done! And I open my eyes and see this whole bunch of gauze sticking out of my mouth, they tell me there are some stitches in my mouth, then they take me to another room and let me nap for a while.

The only thing I regret about this whole ordeal is having to mash a banana in order to be able to eat it! A BANANA, the softest mushiest fruit that I still had to mash into baby food....

Oh yes, I regret THAT THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL NOT BE VISITING ME TONIGHT! Imagine how munch money I could've gotten for four teeth!

I shall marry the man who figures out a way to add sugar to a latte or cappuccino without ruining the top foamed milk layer! (AND without having to remove the foam to add the sugar, then putting it back! Cheaters...)

We're all crazy...I can't decide which is more brilliant, the song or the video.

News about the current political situations in Egypt has been circulating in the blogger circle, especially with the arrest of a respected blogger, Alaa Abdel Fatah. I don't know much about the situation, just little bits and pieces I've read here and there, and what my Egyptian friends have told me. I'm thinking of going, especially since many of the organizers of this event have been such strong supporters of Palestinian events. But I must confess, I'm a bit confused why the demo is held outside the Egypt Air office?

If any one lives in the GTA....

***please circulate widely***

SHOW YOUR SOLIDARITY WITH IMPRISONED EGYPTIAN DEMOCRACY PROTESTORS

On the one-year anniversary of Black Wednesday in Cairo

And in solidarity with demonstrations in London, Paris, Seoul, and New York

The Toronto Egyptian Solidarity Campaign is calling on people across the GTA who are concerned with the escalating violence against democracy activists in Egypt to join us on May 25, 2006 for a day of solidarity with Egyptian judges and activists.  Their demands for judicial independence have been met with state repression and imprisonment over the last three weeks.  This day of solidarity will coincide with major protests in Egypt as well as similar activities taking place in several other cities across North America and Europe.  Please see details below.

Between April 24 and April 27, 2006, Egyptian activists taking part in a solidarity camp in downtown Cairo were attacked by thousands of riot police, resulting in almost fifty arrests of activists from different opposition groups.  The camp had been organized in solidarity with a sit-in at the Judges’ Club after two judges – Hisham Bastawisi and Mahmoud Mekki – had been subjected to disciplinary measures by the government for raising concerns about fraud in the 2005 legislative elections.  Since then hundreds of other activists have been arrested as well, and remain in prison for supporting the campaign for judicial independence. 

The Toronto Egyptian Solidarity Campaign is a coalition of activists – Egyptian and non-Egyptian – that was formed in the weeks following the police attacks on the solidarity camp in Cairo.  We demand that the Egyptian state immediately release all those imprisoned in recent weeks, and that the government take immediate measures to guarantee judicial independence as demanded by Egyptian judges.

The day of solidarity on May 25 will also coincide with the one-year anniversary of Black Wednesday in Cairo when riot police brutally attacked peaceful demonstrators who were protesting the government’s disingenuous and inadequate amendments to the constitution in order to create a façade of free elections in Egypt.  Join us in support of Egyptian activists during this difficult time and let the Egyptian state know that as it intensifies its campaign of intimidation against the growing opposition movement, we will continue to stand in solidarity with people who are struggling for democracy in Egypt.

Location: Egypt Air Office, 151 Bloor St. West (East of Avenue Rd.)

Date: Thursday May 25, 2006
Time: 5:30pm – 7:00pm

For more information contact the Toronto Egyptian Solidarity Campaign at: torontoesc@yahoo.ca

... with my new shoes

Picture's not that great, but you can still sense the beauty they exude.....

Birthday hugs and kisses to Maryam and Anisa, coincidentally, both celebrating GOLDEN birthdays! Can't wait till mine :)

Besides being addicted to coffeine (no spelling mistake, my sister turned out to be oh so brilliant and made up this word especially for me...I feel so special :p), I've become a shameless blogoholic. How shameless? Just enough so that simply reading up on what other people are doing (like Fish watching "The Parent Trap") gets me in this frantic state where I absolutely must also do what they just did (Yes, I watched "The Parent Trap", with my sister. There was a point in time where we could recite the whole freakin two-hours of it by heart. Lindsay Lohan was so cute, that must have been one hell of a slut-ifying process she went through). Anyhoo, so after reading Omar 2 Cents' post on dumb singers and "intellectual" property rights, I decided it was an appropriate time to bring up my beef with Fitty. There's no real easy way to say this.....

HE STOLE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY FROM ME!!!

You know that song that made him famous, "In Da Club"? You know "Go shorty, it's your birthday"? Well, that was MINE. MINE, dammit! Not the "shorty" part, but everyone who's known me since middle school knows that I when I cheer people on, or encourage them to do something, I say "Go [insert name here]! It's your birthday! You can do it, it's your birthday!". Now, I realize it's been three years since that song, and I know I should have spoken up sooner because by now, I'd be swimming in my riches (or died trying), but I let it go because as immature as Fifty Cent and I might be, someone still has to be the bigger person....

Illegitimate son of a female canine, you're only worth half a dollar anyway....

April showers bring May's flowers. A common saying soon to be discredited by climate change, because although we did get our flowers, it didn't rain much in April, and the heavens opened the floodgates this month instead of last because people are burning too much fossil fuel. It feels like it's been raining forever and I KNOW that if it continues to rain into next week, one of the many shootings occuring everynight (what's wrong with people these days?!) is gonna be a weatherman, the bearer of bad news. Me? I don't mind the rain so much because the air temperature is relatively warm, and who doesn't love summer rain? And I'm so used to trekking through mud and rain when we go to restoration sites, I don't even notice anymore.

But today, it was reaaaalllyy important that it stopped raining. My friends and I planned a picnic by the lake for today and the weatherman was predicting thunderstorms! We were gonna picnic rain or shine, we just preferred shine. And if it also insisted on raining, we preferred that it'd be raining men instead of cats and dogs, but I guess beggars can't be choosers. It stopped pouring in the morning long enough for me to walk to the grocery store and get yummy picnic supplies, rain rain rain, then it stopped just in time for our picnic and the sky started breaking and we had sun and some blue sky! Good times...

Wrote my name in the sand!

Sometimes I feel like I can never finish my cuppa coffee or latte fast enough to satisfy the caffeine hunger. Can I honestly not just inject it straight into my bloodstream? Why do I have to ingest it the long way, then wait for it to pass through my stomach and kidneys, THEN get it those precious endorphin molecules running through me? Very unpractical if you ask me...

Humans are weak. Not physically, but socially and emotionally weak. And this weakness is something that I absolutely cannot stand, and at the same time cannot fathom, in myself and others. I hate the fact that we are so socially dependent on each other. Humans are one of the most socially complex species on Earth, and communication and interaction with other humans is important, if not necessary for our mental and physical health, and to sustain our populations. Yes, this all seems very "duh", and this part doesn't seem so much of a weakness, it's nice to be able to talk to people, have friends etc. But I'm starting to realize that there are so many aspects of our emotions and interactions that have been constructed, or socialized, by us, and we've constructed them so that they have become so integral to who were are, sometimes "social norms", when in reality, I feel that they limit us, and they become hindrances, in that we feel devastated if we don't attain them, or that we NEED them to complete us. Am I making sense? Maybe an example? Acceptance, vulnerability, loneliness, self-pity, closure. The thing is, I believe of these concepts/emotions are created by us, mostly during the Romantic period when they exaggerated all emotions, and the only reason so many of us "experience" them is simply because we've given a group of characterisitcs/symptoms a label. They've become just another problem or condition to add to the list of things we suffer from or experience, and sometimes simply another item added to the list of things we "lack" or need to "recover" from. It's kind of like that question "If a tree in the middle of the woods falls down, but there's no one to hear it, does it make a noise and has it really fallen down?". If we haven't defined and labeled something, does it exist? Can we "feel" it?

This is dragging on, and I feel like I'm straying from my point. My point is, some social and emotional concepts are made up, and we use them to complicate our lives, and the lives of others, and they only reason they exist is because we've "said" they exist, and they limit us and we have become enslaved by them and they weaken us. Weak as in, we have subjugated ourselves to our creations...

Capeesh?

My ecological restoration class went to Todmorden Mills today (can't find a good website for this place! All of the ones I've found are boring, outdated, have no pictures, and are directed at old people. Not that I have anything against old people...) where we had our lecture, yours truly gave a mini-presentation, then we got down to some good ole tree planting. The place was one of the first settlement sites in the area in the 1790s, and some of the original structures are still there. Green grass, big trees, flowers, all very cutesy. The thing is though, the Don Valley Parkway runs right alongside it, with virually no buffer area between the high traffic highway and the heritage site. The trees right along the edge of the DVP have become diseased because of their exposure to high concentrations of salt (from salt-trucks in the winter), SO our job was to plant redcedar and spruce trees, which are much more tolerant to salt and also native to the area, at one edge of the site, which also happened to be along one of the ramps going into the Don Valley Parkway. Twas hard work, but oh so much fun! We had to dig holes and transport bucketloads and wheelbarrows of mulch for the newly planted trees. At first we were all kinda skeptical as to how we were supposed to dig holes and plant trees while avoid being run over by vehicles speeding down the ramp, but drivers were very cooperative in that most of them slowed down to see what we were doing (hence giving us the opportunity to avoid death) and many of them honked or waved! I am an avid supporter of honking, and I can get cars to honk for almost any cause (really, who doesn't want an excuse to honk?! people just need that leader, that person to move the masses!), and although I did have an overwhelming urge to lead a parade of cars honking for trees, drivers did it all on their own. This sounds a bit cliche (I will say it and I will not allow cliches to dictate and ruin what is true and good in this world!) but there was such a great community atmosphere the whole day. We were all helping each other dig holes, sharing shovels,  distributing mulch to whoever needed it, everyone was in such great helping spirits. Besides getting a good workout and darker tan (I am so fried!), I also somewhat offset my carbon emissions which should allow me a couple of guilt-free minutes of pointless car use...(woho?)

Tomorrow we're visiting a farm...(whoosh! A hundred and one kiddie farm songs in my head...save me)

I'm thinking of switching blogs. Blog.com is really getting to me these days, and is very limiting in terms of expressing my creativity (right). So I've been looking at some other blog-hosts like Wordpress and Blogger. Wordpress I found to be really difficult to use and everything's all over the place, but it's got those built-in stats. Blogger....I had vowed to myself when I first started blogging I will never resort to such a mainstream blog-host and be lumped with the masses (and I didn't like the .blogspot.com url), but unlike Wordpress and Blog, they let you edit HTML (!!!)...At the same time, I really like Blog for its simplicity..it's really (REALLY) simple.. So I'm really stumped at this point..help anyone?

I hate it when people ask what my plans for the future are, or what kind of career path I'm going to be following. I abso-fudging-lutely hate it. And it's mainly because I never know what to say, and I don't know what I want to be when I "grow-up", or what kind of job I want. I don't know the specifics they want to hear, and I'm okay with that, but they're not. All I know is that once I graduate, I will be using my degree in some way, shape, or form, and I whatever I do, I will be the best at it.

My plans for my future have always been relatively "open" (with the exception of when I was in grade school and I wanted to DESPARATELY become a fashion designer, and I used to draw clothes all the time) because at several points in my life, I wanted to do everything and be everything. I didn't even decide what I wanted to study at university until I was filling out my university applications, and then, only because I had to apply to some sort of Faculty/Program. I wanted to do psych/social work, and international politics, and bio. I was such a bio-nerd in highschool (AP Bio anyone?!) and bio rocked my world in the way that only essays about protein synthesis and cellular respiration could, but I didn't wanna do med-school (Can't handle being responsible for human lives. THAT WOMAN'S HEART WENT ON FIRE IN GREY'S ANATOMY!) and I was not going to be spending the rest of my life looking through microscopes and petri-dishes, so I applied to neuroscience. It sounded interesting, and the name sounded complicated enough so that simply saying the word "neuroscience" alone impressed my parents and anyone they wished to gloat to. I had applied to the environmental studies program as a backup, but that's where I wound up, and I couldn't be happier. But I don't know if I'll end up doing conservation and field work, GIS, or have a government job doing environmental assessments or policy work. I still have trouble deciding because at some level, I STILL want to do EVERYTHING. I want to travel, and do human rights and environment work, I want to open up a cafe, I want to work at an NGO and work in the government... and the list goes on and on...

What really ticks me off the most when people ask me about my future is that they expect the standarized answer of "med-school, law, engineering" or some really specific outline of how I will move up the corporate ladder in a company or the government. Since I can't provide such an answer, I have to face their looks of confusion, and sometimes scorns, mixed with embarassment and pity because it's obviously humiliating if someone can't answer such a question. There were times where I felt so guilty, that I'd sit down and try to devise a plan for the future, but I just couldn't. I couldn't limit myself to a specific job or area of work, or even one corner of the world. I don't know if I'll like having a desk-job and do that all my life, and I don't know whether I'll end up starting a family somewhere, or if I'll form an NGO, and I won't confine myself to a plan that may not work out in the end. There are so many waters to test! Some people have specific goals and plans and if that's what they want and it works out, power to them, but I REFUSE to be looked down upon for a choice I've made myself....There are many people just "going with the flow", and maybe it's time we should accept that as another social norm, and not as a social failure.....